Halloween: Recollections and Observations

I keep forgetting that Halloween is just around the corner. Every year I want to really experience this so-called holiday by going to haunted houses and watching scary movies from the 70s and 80s, but every year Life has other plans for me. Last year it was the wedding, this year...well, it's just "Life" itself.

The last haunted house I remember going to wasn't likely "haunted," though I do remember it being very scary. It seems silly now because, come on, it was a haunted house next to Garcia's Mexican Restaurant. There is a large sign on the side of the building depicting what we Americans think Mexicans should look like, complete with a mustache and sombrero. What could have happened there to make it haunted? It was a new building and surrounded by pavement. There's a McDonalds just up the hill. Was it constructed over an ancient Indian burial ground? Did someone choke on their margarita and have to be rushed to the emergency room? What spooks could have made their way there, down Business Boulevard and just past Safeway, to decide, Yes, this is where we would like to terrorize people and wreak havoc on the semi-suspecting citizens of the greater Chugiak-Eagle River area for a modest fee...?

Michelle and I were students at Gruening Jr. High. We were at school on a Friday night for some kind of an event, maybe a dance. My sister, Tara, picked us up and then we headed to the haunted house, along with my young nephew, Joshua. My memory of the occasion is pretty sketchy, though Tara recalls it quite well: she, carrying Josh, dragged a petrified Lois and Michelle through the better part of the exhibit.

I do remember Michelle being scared because she was always scared of things like that. Even as children, if it was dark outside I would walk her from my house to Milke's Path to ensure she didn't get eaten by one of the vicious neighborhood dogs along the way. Or perhaps she just wanted to avoid having a potato thrown at her by one of our neighbors (inside joke). Either way, I was evidently considered to be fair game and completely expendable.

In any event, aside from Tara's sadly accurate recollection, I remember having to walk across some kind of grate which had something nefarious-looking under it and thinking, I seriously don't want to walk over this. Now, as an adult, I wonder what did I think was going to happen? I mean, if I did step onto the grate and, Heaven forbid, fall through, my parents could have always sued for wrongful death. I am sure they would have won. Hopefully it would have been a quick demise, and think of the headaches they could have been spared during my dreaded Teen Years. But really, what company charging $3-$5 per person for a hastily thrown-together haunted house really wanted to have the insurance risk?

I suppose what I'm trying to say is that a haunted house now couldn't possibly hold the same cache as then because the whole time I would be thinking logically about all of the spooky scenery and thinking, did I really just spend ten freakin' bucks on this?